Sometimes I don’t want to talk about it
sometimes I do
sometimes I want to talk about it
but not with you.
Sometimes my head screams
I just want to yell into the void
When things get all foggy and dizzied and I can’t do the things I’ve enjoyed
No sometimes it’s better not to tell you
Because I tell you too much
I worry you’ll think I’m always suffering when I’m not
Though I want someone to see
What it’s like being me
When I’m broken, weak, and down
I’m not always the positive person
That I’ve built my façade around
I cry real tears, I spit fire from my tongue
Yelling at something that I can’t see, or someone
No I’m not mad at anyone
My only grievance is this
Why do I have to struggle with this thing I can’t fix?
 I can pop pills for days
I can have my body sliced into…
I can distract myself from seeing what I don’t want to see…
Though then comes the weight that rests heavy on my shoulders
I have to look you in the eye
And address you and smolder
You have no right
To lmake my life not seem like mine
make me hide my pain from the world
And pretend that I am fine
Sometimes you’re too heavy to carry
And I look for some help
Without feeling like a burden, or a victim for asking…
The cruel fate
Is that this will never end
My relationship with you…
But I’ll be dammed
If you take away love
Which is my biggest defense against you.
And you won’t
I won’t let you
So my friends my loves I want you to know
Sometimes I don’t want to talk about it
Sometimes I do
Sometimes I want to talk about it just not with you.
Though that does not mean that I don’t love you 😍

Posted on

September 23, 2021

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