Cramming thumbs beneath loops 

Love pouring through my fingertips 

What a beautiful girl, I really am, strong determined and loved

You’re battling hard my sweet firefly 

I know you don’t recognize yourself 

That’s scary of course but you’re still you 

She is climbing out through  all the yarn 🧶 you’ve knit 

The fabric of you still shines through 

Your blanket is not broken 

Some loops are a-fray 

It has mending to be done 

Sometimes I don’t want to talk about it,
sometimes I do.
sometimes I want to talk about it,
but not with you. 

Sometimes my head screams,
I just want to yell into the void,
When things get all foggy and dizzied and I can’t do the things I’ve enjoyed.

No sometimes it’s better not to tell you,
Because I tell you too much,
I worry you’ll think I’m always suffering when I’m not.

Though I want someone to see
What it’s like being me,
When I’m broken, weak, and down.
I’m not always the positive person
That I’ve built my façade around

I cry real tears, I spit fire from my tongue.
Yelling at something that I can’t see, or someone.

No I’m not mad at anyone
My only grievance is this:
Why do I have to struggle with this thing I can’t fix? 

I can pop pills for days.
I can have my body sliced into.
I can distract myself from seeing what I don’t want to see…

Though then comes the weight, that rests heavy on my shoulders.
I have to look you in the eye,
And address you and smolder 

You have no right,
To make my life not seem like mine,
make me hide my pain from the world,
And pretend that I am fine.

Sometimes you’re too heavy to carry,
And I look for some help…
Without feeling like a burden, or a victim for asking.

The cruel fate is that this will never end
My relationship with you…
But I’ll be dammed
If you take away love;
Which is my biggest defense against you.
And you won’t
I won’t let you.

So my friends my loves I want you to know…

Sometimes I don’t want to talk about it.
Sometimes I do.
Sometimes I want to talk about it, just not with you.
Though that does not mean, that I don’t love you 

Everything must work at once, last Rose of Summer, serious beauty, the lies, and realizing truth. 

No one other than you can see the real battles you’re going through. 

That may sound sad, or it holds power. For you are not a fragile flower.

Yes, everything’s weak. Yes, you feel broken but you are rebuilding into something for-spoken.
You are not spoken for NF2. You are spoken for you.
There’s beauty in you the world has never seen. You have to be bent in order to be a queen. 

This life wasnt made to be simple and easy

Oh, so I wish, but they’ve never seen you.
You won’t be broken by stitches and cuts
Yes, it may hurt and you’ll say I’ve had enough
But love you are not broken you’re rebuilding you. There is so much light shining through you.
You will get back to who you once were.
Though she never left. Shes fighting inside you.
Waiting her turn for when you are through
Through with the weakness through with the pain
Soon you will see your hard work hasn’t been in vain.
There’s no timestamp on recovery It takes as long as it takes.
Do not rush my love take your time allow your self to hurt.
It’s OK it’s been a lot you’re allowed to feel.
Everything your body’s telling you is absolutely real.
It’s also on your side it will not let you down. It’s working as hard as you.
You’re not two things you’re one. Let’s do this and then we’re done.